The Big Show is coming back to WWE. It's hard to get excited about it, even though I do have some affection for the big lug (certainly more than your average smark, I wager). For one, I thought he had a pretty good exit; he had the longest main event run of his career and then left on his own terms after putting over Bobby Lashley. Second, as entertaining as his matches could be when he was working with the right person (Brock Lesnar, mainly, but I remember his stuff with Cena being good), the matches that I can imagine them booking him in isn't exactly inspiring. Beyond that match with Hogan that we apparently have to see again (for the 20th anniversary of the Hogan/Andre rematch, I guess?), you have to assume they'd put him up against Khali at some point, and also factor in their perverse desire to put him in feuds with Kane every few years (although they did have a really fun match in ECW. No, seriously!).
That said, it sets a good precedent that guys like he and Jericho can take long chunks of time off, away from the business, and recharge their batteries before coming back; hopefully more guys will follow their lead. And, if nothing else, he has shown he's willing to put younger guys over, and he hasn't been jobbed out so much that it's lost its impact, so that's certainly something good. Also-- well, I really like his ECW entrance music, so hopefully they held on to that; and maybe they'll let him be funny again! I always did enjoy the post-SNL phase in 2000 where he was a happy go lucky impressionist, and I could really go for another round of skits with a 500 pd. stand up comedian. Most of all, we get yet another round of announcers trying to get him over by talking about how big he is in person, and how his hands resemble cookwear! Come on, we all missed that, didn't we?
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Joe's Gonna Kill You-- On youtube! (And other
For reasons I don't care to elaborate on, here are some random Samoa Joe matches on youtube, which I am totally using for research purposes.
Joe vs. Essa Rios- From Jacked in 2001. Or Jakked; I could swear WWE went with the edgy (mis) spelling there, because that's where they were at in 2001. As opposed to their more understated, nuanced product today, of course. This could join Danielson vs. Cena and Styles vs. the Hurricane on a "When they were lowly jobbers on C-List WWE shows" DVD. Highlights include Joe sporting a really heavy dye job and wearing a t-shirt, denying us of his trademark doughy physique and impressive moobs; Rios fitting a jaw dropping plancha over the turnbuckles and his awesome moonsault in to this four minute squash; and a lot of hype about the about the XFL and the feud between Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero that preceded Wrestlemania 17, which may surprise you, since they never happened, according to the WWE's new version of reality. Which, all things considered, isn't all that hard to accept. It's easier than thinking about what Benoit did. Or all that awful football.
On a lighter note, here's Joe (sporting basically the same look) vs. Masato Tanaka. Ignoring any thoughts related to Tanaka's series with Mike Awesome that might lead you back to thinking about how things with Awesome ended up, of course. Man, watching wrestling sure can be depressing. Or maybe I'm just excessively morbid, even considering all the people that died last year, and how you don't even have to do six degrees of seperation between other wrestlers to be reminded of that.
All right, I'll get off that downer of a tangent and talk about the match now. It's from Japan's Zero One promotion, complete with Japanese commentary; pretty much all I've been able to make out from it is ECW. Joe looks positively svelte here, and hits some really agile moves I haven't seen him do in TNA, including a float over to the apron off a whip, a Muta like snap elbow, and even a somersault plancha! That was just crazy on a number of levels Anyway, following that insane plancha, we get some ECW-esque chair antics, as Joe statrs pulling them out of the crowd and tossing them Tanaka, which turns out to not be a terribly bright idea, given that using him is his bread and butter and all. That leads to one of those goofy chair fencing sequences that Tanaka used to do in ECW all the time, which is pretty much the only ECW I could ever be nostalgic for.
That said, all of this chair related stuff is kind of hard to mark out over after the Benoit toxicology reports and all, which sucks. That's right, I'm angry because Benoit ruined my enjoyment of guys wailing on each other with chairs. They don't go as nuts with the unprotected shots to the head as Tanaka and Awesome used to (which, again, makes those matches hard to watch in retrospect, considering how all that abuse probably contributed to Awesome's suicide), but it still reminds me of them. The spectre of that fun ruining, murderous bastard rears its head a little later when Joe hits a german, then rolls over and hits a dragon suplex, and then follows that up with a brigded german for a near fall. Which brings up the point that no matter how well the WWE's done in their attempt to wipe him out of existence, his influence will still be around. I'm not trying to advocate this or anything, I'm just acknowledging that it's there. Maybe too much in the face of a pretty good match that obstentially has nothing to do with him or other dead people, but I still felt like it was worth mentioning.
Anyway, this had a lot of near falls, which I always like, even if they feel a little forced in a relatively short match like this. Tanaka busts out Diamond Dust, a pretty awesome finisher (if you've never seen it, the guy performing it slaps a rear chancery on his opponent from the top rope, like he's going for an inverted DDT, and then flips over and does a stunner instead). Joe gets his foot on the rope before the three. Being that this is Japan, Tanaka tries it again, only for Joe to block it and hit an over the shoulder slam (I remember Tenay calling it an Island Driver when he's used in TNA) for the pin. Despite the fact that it came nowhere near my expectations of what it could have been, given that Joe was still pretty early on in his career and did none of his signature spots, it was still fun and worth watching.
And, for no reason other than I found it on the sidebar when I was watching the Essa/Joe squash, Essa Riso (as Aguila) vs. Super Crazy (as Super Loco, just in case you weren't sure if he was a Mexican or not) from RAW. No, seriously.- Yes, this was actually on RAW, as an attempt to counter WCW's use of Luchadors. Ah, for the days when Vince had competition he had to actually react to. Crazy (er, uh, Loco) was spottier here than I can remember him being in ECW, although to be fair he was weighed down by about 10 pounds of tassles here, as well as the fact that Aguila/Rios was supposedly 19. This was very spotty and everything, but if nothing else, it's nice to reminded of a time when Vince and co. were not only willing to do things outside of their comfort zone, but basically had to in order to compete with WCW. That, and while it was no Mysterio/Psychosis, it was a nice slice of lucha, ignoring Brian Christopher's obnoxious commentary (from the "things are funnier when they're louder" school of comedy, or at the very least, a very bad version of his dad back when he was a bitter heel and thus fun to listen to) and Jim Cornette's verbal felating of him, which if nothing else shows how good a company man he was. And hey, no reminder's of dead people for me to fixate on!
Joe vs. Essa Rios- From Jacked in 2001. Or Jakked; I could swear WWE went with the edgy (mis) spelling there, because that's where they were at in 2001. As opposed to their more understated, nuanced product today, of course. This could join Danielson vs. Cena and Styles vs. the Hurricane on a "When they were lowly jobbers on C-List WWE shows" DVD. Highlights include Joe sporting a really heavy dye job and wearing a t-shirt, denying us of his trademark doughy physique and impressive moobs; Rios fitting a jaw dropping plancha over the turnbuckles and his awesome moonsault in to this four minute squash; and a lot of hype about the about the XFL and the feud between Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero that preceded Wrestlemania 17, which may surprise you, since they never happened, according to the WWE's new version of reality. Which, all things considered, isn't all that hard to accept. It's easier than thinking about what Benoit did. Or all that awful football.
On a lighter note, here's Joe (sporting basically the same look) vs. Masato Tanaka. Ignoring any thoughts related to Tanaka's series with Mike Awesome that might lead you back to thinking about how things with Awesome ended up, of course. Man, watching wrestling sure can be depressing. Or maybe I'm just excessively morbid, even considering all the people that died last year, and how you don't even have to do six degrees of seperation between other wrestlers to be reminded of that.
All right, I'll get off that downer of a tangent and talk about the match now. It's from Japan's Zero One promotion, complete with Japanese commentary; pretty much all I've been able to make out from it is ECW. Joe looks positively svelte here, and hits some really agile moves I haven't seen him do in TNA, including a float over to the apron off a whip, a Muta like snap elbow, and even a somersault plancha! That was just crazy on a number of levels Anyway, following that insane plancha, we get some ECW-esque chair antics, as Joe statrs pulling them out of the crowd and tossing them Tanaka, which turns out to not be a terribly bright idea, given that using him is his bread and butter and all. That leads to one of those goofy chair fencing sequences that Tanaka used to do in ECW all the time, which is pretty much the only ECW I could ever be nostalgic for.
That said, all of this chair related stuff is kind of hard to mark out over after the Benoit toxicology reports and all, which sucks. That's right, I'm angry because Benoit ruined my enjoyment of guys wailing on each other with chairs. They don't go as nuts with the unprotected shots to the head as Tanaka and Awesome used to (which, again, makes those matches hard to watch in retrospect, considering how all that abuse probably contributed to Awesome's suicide), but it still reminds me of them. The spectre of that fun ruining, murderous bastard rears its head a little later when Joe hits a german, then rolls over and hits a dragon suplex, and then follows that up with a brigded german for a near fall. Which brings up the point that no matter how well the WWE's done in their attempt to wipe him out of existence, his influence will still be around. I'm not trying to advocate this or anything, I'm just acknowledging that it's there. Maybe too much in the face of a pretty good match that obstentially has nothing to do with him or other dead people, but I still felt like it was worth mentioning.
Anyway, this had a lot of near falls, which I always like, even if they feel a little forced in a relatively short match like this. Tanaka busts out Diamond Dust, a pretty awesome finisher (if you've never seen it, the guy performing it slaps a rear chancery on his opponent from the top rope, like he's going for an inverted DDT, and then flips over and does a stunner instead). Joe gets his foot on the rope before the three. Being that this is Japan, Tanaka tries it again, only for Joe to block it and hit an over the shoulder slam (I remember Tenay calling it an Island Driver when he's used in TNA) for the pin. Despite the fact that it came nowhere near my expectations of what it could have been, given that Joe was still pretty early on in his career and did none of his signature spots, it was still fun and worth watching.
And, for no reason other than I found it on the sidebar when I was watching the Essa/Joe squash, Essa Riso (as Aguila) vs. Super Crazy (as Super Loco, just in case you weren't sure if he was a Mexican or not) from RAW. No, seriously.- Yes, this was actually on RAW, as an attempt to counter WCW's use of Luchadors. Ah, for the days when Vince had competition he had to actually react to. Crazy (er, uh, Loco) was spottier here than I can remember him being in ECW, although to be fair he was weighed down by about 10 pounds of tassles here, as well as the fact that Aguila/Rios was supposedly 19. This was very spotty and everything, but if nothing else, it's nice to reminded of a time when Vince and co. were not only willing to do things outside of their comfort zone, but basically had to in order to compete with WCW. That, and while it was no Mysterio/Psychosis, it was a nice slice of lucha, ignoring Brian Christopher's obnoxious commentary (from the "things are funnier when they're louder" school of comedy, or at the very least, a very bad version of his dad back when he was a bitter heel and thus fun to listen to) and Jim Cornette's verbal felating of him, which if nothing else shows how good a company man he was. And hey, no reminder's of dead people for me to fixate on!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
WWE Mark Stuff
The Hardy/Umaga cage match is one of my favorite RAW main events in a long time, and the best cage match I've seen on free TV since Benoit/Angle before one was an infamous murderer and the other was trying to be the new Jeff Jarrett in another promotion. Much like Edge vs. Mick Foley at 'Mania 22, I'll cop to the fact that I may be overrating it because of some cool spots at the climax of the match, but I'll be damned if those weren't some damn cool spots; I was especially happy with the bits where Hardy was chanelling Sabu with his use of the chair, but nothing's going to top that somersault off the top of the cage. Hardy celebrating at the top of the cage was a great moment to end the show on.
Admittedly, it's kind of sad that Umaga went from a nigh-unbeatable monster to looking like a jobber to the stars in a matter of months, but hey, that's what happens when you got with your hand in the HGH jar these days; remember when Kennedy looked poised to be a world champion and Wrestlemania headliner? Me either. Oh, and there's that whole "feuding with HHH" thing that also seems to have deflated everyone's second favorite portly Samoan badass (well, third if you're really fond of Meng/Haku). That said, between that whole 7 month undefeated streak and how well he plays the character, Umaga should at the very least settle in to a role similar to Kane's, where he's believable as a threat and will be used as an upper mid carder but will mostly be used to put over main eventers which, when you think about it, is no bad thing, really.
I also really liked the HHH/Regal First Blood Match, especially when Regal realized he could fight back. There was a real moment of clarity for him there when he remembered he was a badass brawler which I thought was a nice touch. Of course, he wound up jobbing, but it was nice that he at least got some offense in, which seemed doubtful for awhile.
ECW also had a couple of noteworthy matches. Throw in Layla dancing and that's pretty much all you can ask for. Admittedly, both the tag title and Punk/Chavo had cop out endings, but that's just goes with the territory of free shows. It would great to see either of these feuds get a blow off at the Rumble, but it seems unlikely, given how stacked the card already is. Besides Orton/Hardy, there's also Mysterio/Edge for the World Title, JBL/Jericho, and Flair/MVP and, you know, the hour+ Royal Rumble, well, there seems like there isn't room for anything else. ECW tends to get the short end of the straw in the time alotted depratment, so maybe it's for the best that they keep these going on ECW instead of squeezing a rushed Punk/Chavo or Mizorrison/Dragon Count (that's the best combination for Wang and Moore I could think of) in there just to give ECW something to do on the PPV. Or, you know, at least save it for No Way Out. At any rate, I'm getting dangerously close to be excited about WWE programming again. I'd better watch that ROH DVD I won off their E-Bay store in order to rectify that. Or just remember they still employ Mabel and Mark Henry. Whichever's quicker.
Admittedly, it's kind of sad that Umaga went from a nigh-unbeatable monster to looking like a jobber to the stars in a matter of months, but hey, that's what happens when you got with your hand in the HGH jar these days; remember when Kennedy looked poised to be a world champion and Wrestlemania headliner? Me either. Oh, and there's that whole "feuding with HHH" thing that also seems to have deflated everyone's second favorite portly Samoan badass (well, third if you're really fond of Meng/Haku). That said, between that whole 7 month undefeated streak and how well he plays the character, Umaga should at the very least settle in to a role similar to Kane's, where he's believable as a threat and will be used as an upper mid carder but will mostly be used to put over main eventers which, when you think about it, is no bad thing, really.
I also really liked the HHH/Regal First Blood Match, especially when Regal realized he could fight back. There was a real moment of clarity for him there when he remembered he was a badass brawler which I thought was a nice touch. Of course, he wound up jobbing, but it was nice that he at least got some offense in, which seemed doubtful for awhile.
ECW also had a couple of noteworthy matches. Throw in Layla dancing and that's pretty much all you can ask for. Admittedly, both the tag title and Punk/Chavo had cop out endings, but that's just goes with the territory of free shows. It would great to see either of these feuds get a blow off at the Rumble, but it seems unlikely, given how stacked the card already is. Besides Orton/Hardy, there's also Mysterio/Edge for the World Title, JBL/Jericho, and Flair/MVP and, you know, the hour+ Royal Rumble, well, there seems like there isn't room for anything else. ECW tends to get the short end of the straw in the time alotted depratment, so maybe it's for the best that they keep these going on ECW instead of squeezing a rushed Punk/Chavo or Mizorrison/Dragon Count (that's the best combination for Wang and Moore I could think of) in there just to give ECW something to do on the PPV. Or, you know, at least save it for No Way Out. At any rate, I'm getting dangerously close to be excited about WWE programming again. I'd better watch that ROH DVD I won off their E-Bay store in order to rectify that. Or just remember they still employ Mabel and Mark Henry. Whichever's quicker.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Video Game Review Hullabaloo!
Because that's really what I've been spending my time with. And they fit under the banner of trash culture, especially if you're Roger Ebert. I'm going to try to go over every video game I've played in the last two months or so, whether I have any business doing so or not. So that should be fun.
Mass Effect- Other than the fact that some of the various alien races sound like they belong to a Canadian Theatre Troupe, I am completely in awe of this gang. The level of production value and design is amazing here; all of the aliens feel like they're from distinctively, well, alien cultures, and more so than any other game (especially one so steeped in as well trod ground as the Sci-Fi genre), it feels like there's a living, breathing world here. So yeah, I'm very impressed by this game, especially as some who usually doesn't care for RPGs. The action elements of the combat and the interactive nature of everything from your character's backstory to every conversation you take part in certainly goes a long way in overcoming the prejudices I have against RPGs, and they also make this one of the few non-sports or fighting game I can see myself revisiting multiple times. It also one of the few games I've ever really not wanted to beat, because I don't want it to end. So yeah, color me impressed here.
Assassain's Creed- The gameplay on this one is incredibly intuitive despite being so different from every other platformer/open world game on the market. Much like Mass Effect, it's an incredibly polished product. I haven't been able to dig as far in to it as I have ME, but from what I've seen, it lives up to the hype. Even if it's as redundant as its reputed to be, I could live with that, because the experience is so damn polished. Beyond that, how many other games have you played that are set in the Middle East during the Crusades? I really appreciate novelty in games, and this has it in spades. Also, it has Kristen Bell as a voice actress, so that's one for the plus column right there, even if she isn't playing my favorite sluething teenager. At least she's not an amoral social retard who shoots lightning.
Fire Pro Wrestling R- Well, at least something here can tie in to the nominal theme of the blog. This incarnation of the venerable Japanese wrestling franchise has made it state side as a budget title for the venerable PS2, and as much as I enjoy the Smackdown games, I'm really glad to have finally have an alternative again, even if it lacks Funk Master Flex as a playable character.
It does have almost everyone else you can think of not under contract with WWE, though. Every Japanese fed is represented, including ROH regulars Takeshi Morishima and KENTA, with hilarious, copyright evading monikers to avoid lawsuits. There are quite a few American guys in there, as well, from Sting and Vader to AJ Styles and Petey Williams. Hell, even the Great Kahli and Andre the Giant are present, so you can put on that anti-dream match if you so desire.
The game's an anchronism compared to the Smackdown series in a lot of ways. The graphics are sprite based, and not even super detailed Capcom sprites; the diffrences between this and a really polished Super NES game is negligible. While this means that you can get 8 wrestlers, a referee, and a variety of weapons on screen without any slowdown, the characters lack detail, more important to me, personality. No one seems to have any distinctive mannersims or animation.
There's also the gameplay, which leads to some annoyances, the main one being that you have to be in just the right position to hit any of your strikes, lest you wind up flailing around like an dead fish on the mat. While it comes across as a nice change of pace compared to the ultra sim direction the Smackdown games have gone in, I've never been a huge fan of the quirks involved in Fire Pro's unforgiving, timing based gameplay, although it seems less punishing with a controller than it was trying to play it with a keyboard via an emulator.
There's also the lack of bells and whistles. While it's not really fair to compare this game to the Smackdown games, it's kind of hard not to, given the fact that it's the closest basis of compairson. Things like the Mactchmaker Mode (the closest thing to Smackdown's addicting (for me) GM mode) have too many annoying quirks to make them fun; the translation is Engrish at its most broken, which applies to everything form the game menus to the instruction manual (which makes figuring some things out a real pain); and things like the entrances and arenas are strictlt no frills.
But, given the price tag and the sheer depth on display in the roster, create-a-wrestler mode, and gameplay, its failings in the technical categories are middling at worst. The animations of the actual moves are beautiful, the action's intense, and with the use of the Landmine Deathmatch, you can finally relive Mick Foley's explosive Japanese Missadventures in the comfort of your living room. This is the closest thing to the vaunted No Mercy that's been released since its heyday (well, other than the download of the game on the Virtual Console for the Wii), and worth checking out if you're a wrestling fan with a PS2 (especially if your an ROH fan and/or someone bemused by the Smackdown vs. Raw games).
Kane and Lynch: Dead Men- I wasn't so in to this one. Not as much as this guy, mainly because I don't mind how "ugly" the story was, given that Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips crime comic Criminal has given me a primer on the crime/noir genre, and encountering it in video game form was the whole draw of the thing for me. I wasn't looking for anyone to root for, I just wanted a compelling story that hit all the notes you accept from this sort of thing; broken people looking for a sliver of redemption and not finding it, with all of the double and triple crosses that entails. I shouldn't give the guy too much shit over this, given its probably why he was apparently fired over it and all, but still.
The story more or less gave me the jet black sensibilities, but it wasn't quite compelling enough to make me put up with the flawed gameplay that any longer than I had it out for a rental. In its attempt to throw you in to the action, it veered to close to incoherence for my taste, as opposed to the in media res quality I assume they were going for. But mainly, I just wasn't in to the whole idea of a squad based shooter where your squad isn't functional. With these kind of games, I always wonder if it's the game or me, since I'm not sure if I'm playing it the way it was intended to be; given that the reviewer had similar complaints, I don't
feel so bad about giving up on the game. It also means I feel obligated to put the reviewer up if he needs a place to live after losing his job and all.
I've played a lot of other games lately, but after making light a of a man's missfortune, I don't feel like talking about them in any depth. I just can't top/go any lower than that, especially when talking about solid but unspectacular games like Conan and the Simpsons Game (especially since I said everything I need to about them already in a sentence apiece earlier anyway), or the very good Tomb Raider Anniversary, which is a great spin on the acrobatics/deathtrap-centric gameplay I loved so much in the Ubisoft Price of Persia games; which is pretty amazing, given that it's a remake of a ten year old game at this point. While there's still some trial and error based gameplay that leads to some nasty deaths in there, it's nowhere as random as the sequels that followed it (I know developer Crystal Dynamics streamlined the game a bit), which took frustration to a new level. So its worth giving a run through. That went on longer than I wanted it to.
Mass Effect- Other than the fact that some of the various alien races sound like they belong to a Canadian Theatre Troupe, I am completely in awe of this gang. The level of production value and design is amazing here; all of the aliens feel like they're from distinctively, well, alien cultures, and more so than any other game (especially one so steeped in as well trod ground as the Sci-Fi genre), it feels like there's a living, breathing world here. So yeah, I'm very impressed by this game, especially as some who usually doesn't care for RPGs. The action elements of the combat and the interactive nature of everything from your character's backstory to every conversation you take part in certainly goes a long way in overcoming the prejudices I have against RPGs, and they also make this one of the few non-sports or fighting game I can see myself revisiting multiple times. It also one of the few games I've ever really not wanted to beat, because I don't want it to end. So yeah, color me impressed here.
Assassain's Creed- The gameplay on this one is incredibly intuitive despite being so different from every other platformer/open world game on the market. Much like Mass Effect, it's an incredibly polished product. I haven't been able to dig as far in to it as I have ME, but from what I've seen, it lives up to the hype. Even if it's as redundant as its reputed to be, I could live with that, because the experience is so damn polished. Beyond that, how many other games have you played that are set in the Middle East during the Crusades? I really appreciate novelty in games, and this has it in spades. Also, it has Kristen Bell as a voice actress, so that's one for the plus column right there, even if she isn't playing my favorite sluething teenager. At least she's not an amoral social retard who shoots lightning.
Fire Pro Wrestling R- Well, at least something here can tie in to the nominal theme of the blog. This incarnation of the venerable Japanese wrestling franchise has made it state side as a budget title for the venerable PS2, and as much as I enjoy the Smackdown games, I'm really glad to have finally have an alternative again, even if it lacks Funk Master Flex as a playable character.
It does have almost everyone else you can think of not under contract with WWE, though. Every Japanese fed is represented, including ROH regulars Takeshi Morishima and KENTA, with hilarious, copyright evading monikers to avoid lawsuits. There are quite a few American guys in there, as well, from Sting and Vader to AJ Styles and Petey Williams. Hell, even the Great Kahli and Andre the Giant are present, so you can put on that anti-dream match if you so desire.
The game's an anchronism compared to the Smackdown series in a lot of ways. The graphics are sprite based, and not even super detailed Capcom sprites; the diffrences between this and a really polished Super NES game is negligible. While this means that you can get 8 wrestlers, a referee, and a variety of weapons on screen without any slowdown, the characters lack detail, more important to me, personality. No one seems to have any distinctive mannersims or animation.
There's also the gameplay, which leads to some annoyances, the main one being that you have to be in just the right position to hit any of your strikes, lest you wind up flailing around like an dead fish on the mat. While it comes across as a nice change of pace compared to the ultra sim direction the Smackdown games have gone in, I've never been a huge fan of the quirks involved in Fire Pro's unforgiving, timing based gameplay, although it seems less punishing with a controller than it was trying to play it with a keyboard via an emulator.
There's also the lack of bells and whistles. While it's not really fair to compare this game to the Smackdown games, it's kind of hard not to, given the fact that it's the closest basis of compairson. Things like the Mactchmaker Mode (the closest thing to Smackdown's addicting (for me) GM mode) have too many annoying quirks to make them fun; the translation is Engrish at its most broken, which applies to everything form the game menus to the instruction manual (which makes figuring some things out a real pain); and things like the entrances and arenas are strictlt no frills.
But, given the price tag and the sheer depth on display in the roster, create-a-wrestler mode, and gameplay, its failings in the technical categories are middling at worst. The animations of the actual moves are beautiful, the action's intense, and with the use of the Landmine Deathmatch, you can finally relive Mick Foley's explosive Japanese Missadventures in the comfort of your living room. This is the closest thing to the vaunted No Mercy that's been released since its heyday (well, other than the download of the game on the Virtual Console for the Wii), and worth checking out if you're a wrestling fan with a PS2 (especially if your an ROH fan and/or someone bemused by the Smackdown vs. Raw games).
Kane and Lynch: Dead Men- I wasn't so in to this one. Not as much as this guy, mainly because I don't mind how "ugly" the story was, given that Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips crime comic Criminal has given me a primer on the crime/noir genre, and encountering it in video game form was the whole draw of the thing for me. I wasn't looking for anyone to root for, I just wanted a compelling story that hit all the notes you accept from this sort of thing; broken people looking for a sliver of redemption and not finding it, with all of the double and triple crosses that entails. I shouldn't give the guy too much shit over this, given its probably why he was apparently fired over it and all, but still.
The story more or less gave me the jet black sensibilities, but it wasn't quite compelling enough to make me put up with the flawed gameplay that any longer than I had it out for a rental. In its attempt to throw you in to the action, it veered to close to incoherence for my taste, as opposed to the in media res quality I assume they were going for. But mainly, I just wasn't in to the whole idea of a squad based shooter where your squad isn't functional. With these kind of games, I always wonder if it's the game or me, since I'm not sure if I'm playing it the way it was intended to be; given that the reviewer had similar complaints, I don't
feel so bad about giving up on the game. It also means I feel obligated to put the reviewer up if he needs a place to live after losing his job and all.
I've played a lot of other games lately, but after making light a of a man's missfortune, I don't feel like talking about them in any depth. I just can't top/go any lower than that, especially when talking about solid but unspectacular games like Conan and the Simpsons Game (especially since I said everything I need to about them already in a sentence apiece earlier anyway), or the very good Tomb Raider Anniversary, which is a great spin on the acrobatics/deathtrap-centric gameplay I loved so much in the Ubisoft Price of Persia games; which is pretty amazing, given that it's a remake of a ten year old game at this point. While there's still some trial and error based gameplay that leads to some nasty deaths in there, it's nowhere as random as the sequels that followed it (I know developer Crystal Dynamics streamlined the game a bit), which took frustration to a new level. So its worth giving a run through. That went on longer than I wanted it to.
Hey, Remember How Great We Used To Be? (RAW 15th Anniversary Show)
I don't write here too much these days, mainly because whatever spare time I have to write about wrestling online is going towards Inside Pulse. That, and I have my rampant video game addiction to keep up. And I even occassionally go to work! So, yeah, kind of pressed for time. That said, the WWE had a couple of things all internet wrasslin' wags are required to write about, and who am I to shirk that duty?
So, yeah, that RAW 15th Anniversary Show; it sure did a good job reminding you how fun the show used to be, and how much it isn't, by and large, now. I mean, sure, Scott Keith said it better because, you know, he's Scott Fucking Keith, but I think that's another thing you have to mention when writing about this. It was pure nostalgia, but what the hell else do you ask from an anniversary show. There was all of the requisite "Hey, it's __" moments, from a totally surprising RVD appearence to Tammy Sytch being really, really hot again. On a further libidinous note, I have to begrudingly agree with Papa Smark and say that Trish looked borderline unhealthy but retirement seems to agree with Lita (by the way, her punk band's coming down here; I'm not going, but it's happening).
All of the fun bits aside (I think Mike Shaw may have been more svelte than Tammy, especially compared to his Bastion Booger days), it is hard to escape how much the current product pales in comparison to the best moments, even keeping in mind the fact that nostalgia is so intoxicating because you're only think about the best times, and not remembering that there was a whole heap load of medicore crap endemic to WWE even in their best days. Their were two title matches and a main event caliber six man that all felt rushed, but the matches were beyond the point. I dunno, it was a fun show, but kind of depressing when compared to the current product, even for someone like myself who finds it not totally without merit these days.
Oh yeah, there's also a PPV today, but I think it's telling that they ran the big anniversary show in lieu of doing a hype job on it this week. It is, after all, Armageddon, which always feels like the least important show of the year, due to its placement at the end of the year and before the Royal Rumble and the beginning of the Road to Wrestlemania. This year isn't terribly different, although at least they're trying harder than TNA did with their December offering, which would have made a good Impact.
There are some matches I have a decent interest in; HBK vs. Kennedy foremost among them, just to see how much working with Shawn will do with the Annoited One (or annoying one) of up and coming young guys. Khali vs. Finaly is on a similar, if even more extreme, level of "how good a match can the veteran get out of the new-ish guy." MVP and Rey have shown good chemistry in the past, although the fact that they've had a couple good, long-ish matches on Smackdown dissuades me from paying money to see them. I'm sure the title matches and Hardy vs. the Hs will be solid at the least, too. Kane and Punk vs. Men on a Mission 2K7 is the only real stinker announced so far (not the least of which because Matt Stryker is no Moe), but that's to expected as long as ECW's a repository for guys who don't get over. It actually sounds like a better than average card; I just don't want to pay money for it. My priorities are elsewhere anyway; it is the season of giving, after all. So, when I am being a selfish prick and spending my money on myself insted of others, I want it to be on something better than an WWE PPV.
So, yeah, that RAW 15th Anniversary Show; it sure did a good job reminding you how fun the show used to be, and how much it isn't, by and large, now. I mean, sure, Scott Keith said it better because, you know, he's Scott Fucking Keith, but I think that's another thing you have to mention when writing about this. It was pure nostalgia, but what the hell else do you ask from an anniversary show. There was all of the requisite "Hey, it's __" moments, from a totally surprising RVD appearence to Tammy Sytch being really, really hot again. On a further libidinous note, I have to begrudingly agree with Papa Smark and say that Trish looked borderline unhealthy but retirement seems to agree with Lita (by the way, her punk band's coming down here; I'm not going, but it's happening).
All of the fun bits aside (I think Mike Shaw may have been more svelte than Tammy, especially compared to his Bastion Booger days), it is hard to escape how much the current product pales in comparison to the best moments, even keeping in mind the fact that nostalgia is so intoxicating because you're only think about the best times, and not remembering that there was a whole heap load of medicore crap endemic to WWE even in their best days. Their were two title matches and a main event caliber six man that all felt rushed, but the matches were beyond the point. I dunno, it was a fun show, but kind of depressing when compared to the current product, even for someone like myself who finds it not totally without merit these days.
Oh yeah, there's also a PPV today, but I think it's telling that they ran the big anniversary show in lieu of doing a hype job on it this week. It is, after all, Armageddon, which always feels like the least important show of the year, due to its placement at the end of the year and before the Royal Rumble and the beginning of the Road to Wrestlemania. This year isn't terribly different, although at least they're trying harder than TNA did with their December offering, which would have made a good Impact.
There are some matches I have a decent interest in; HBK vs. Kennedy foremost among them, just to see how much working with Shawn will do with the Annoited One (or annoying one) of up and coming young guys. Khali vs. Finaly is on a similar, if even more extreme, level of "how good a match can the veteran get out of the new-ish guy." MVP and Rey have shown good chemistry in the past, although the fact that they've had a couple good, long-ish matches on Smackdown dissuades me from paying money to see them. I'm sure the title matches and Hardy vs. the Hs will be solid at the least, too. Kane and Punk vs. Men on a Mission 2K7 is the only real stinker announced so far (not the least of which because Matt Stryker is no Moe), but that's to expected as long as ECW's a repository for guys who don't get over. It actually sounds like a better than average card; I just don't want to pay money for it. My priorities are elsewhere anyway; it is the season of giving, after all. So, when I am being a selfish prick and spending my money on myself insted of others, I want it to be on something better than an WWE PPV.
Monday, December 3, 2007
In the "Things That Aren't Suprising To Anyone Category", Here's Another One:
Scott Hall no showed TNA's Pay-Per-View last night. I'm sure I wasn't alone in my initial reaction when reading the results of "so what else is new," followed by a wave of indifference and mild happiness that Eric Young got to main event (although you can ask Chris Harris how that kind of spot leads to a serious push). And then I read this, and remembered that this kept Nash out of a main event years ago in TNA, and remained sort of indifferent, but thought "well, at least he didn't just wander in to a bar or get stuck on a Spider-Man rollercoaster or something."
And then I read this. That's all kinds of interesting, and not just for the awesome typo of "foot poisoning" from Aaron Glazer, but because this shoot interview may have actually been a shoot, in the sense that it really did piss off Nash and Dixie Carter.
Mind you, between the fact that this came from a dirt sheet and is at this point third hand gossip, and the fact that Russo so overused the idea of shoots during his WCW run that it became a running joke between a friend of mine that endures to this day, despite the fact that he no longer watches wrestling unless I drag him to a PPV; it sort of sounds like it could all be bullshit, is what I'm trying to say, although it has a ring of truth, especially since Nash apparently pushed to get Joe in to TNA in the first place.
That said, it's nice to see something of genuine interest out of a TNA PPV besides Kurt Angle winning so many belts you worry he'll further cripple himself carrying them around, all in his attempt to become the new Jeff Jarrett. Too bad its not from the actual matches, but instead Scott Hall being Scott Hall. Seriously, even for TNA, this was an extremely underwhelming card, which is pretty hard to reconcile with how much I've enjoyed the 2 hour shows. It should be interesting to see how this all plays out; apparently Low-Ki is on his way out, all though that is:
a) Not surprising, since the dirt sheets have been saying he's wanted a release for awhile now.
b) Given how little he's done since he came back, for whatever reason, I wouldn't really miss him; he's more or less a jobber at this point, so they might as well just let him go back to Japan or ROH (if he's welcome). I enjoy the guy's work, but I think it was telling that he and Skipper were standing in the background of Daniels' promo a couple weeks ago.
Glazer made the parallel between what Ki did here and what Raven did during the beginning of the end in WCW in '99; we'll see if the morale level is comporable. I've never wanted to be the guy who compares TNA to WCW, but it's hard to avoid it sometimes.
Having now seen the promo via Glazer's youtube link, I'm not convinced it was a shoot; it was very good, mind you, but it reminded me a lot of Russo's speech at Bash at the Beach 2000, and I have a hard time believing they'd let him go on like that, especially after the "fire me, I don't care" bit. Not that my disbelief means it didn't actually happen, but I'm expecting this to lead to another of Russo's beloved shoot angles. Once again, we'll have to see.
And then I read this. That's all kinds of interesting, and not just for the awesome typo of "foot poisoning" from Aaron Glazer, but because this shoot interview may have actually been a shoot, in the sense that it really did piss off Nash and Dixie Carter.
Mind you, between the fact that this came from a dirt sheet and is at this point third hand gossip, and the fact that Russo so overused the idea of shoots during his WCW run that it became a running joke between a friend of mine that endures to this day, despite the fact that he no longer watches wrestling unless I drag him to a PPV; it sort of sounds like it could all be bullshit, is what I'm trying to say, although it has a ring of truth, especially since Nash apparently pushed to get Joe in to TNA in the first place.
That said, it's nice to see something of genuine interest out of a TNA PPV besides Kurt Angle winning so many belts you worry he'll further cripple himself carrying them around, all in his attempt to become the new Jeff Jarrett. Too bad its not from the actual matches, but instead Scott Hall being Scott Hall. Seriously, even for TNA, this was an extremely underwhelming card, which is pretty hard to reconcile with how much I've enjoyed the 2 hour shows. It should be interesting to see how this all plays out; apparently Low-Ki is on his way out, all though that is:
a) Not surprising, since the dirt sheets have been saying he's wanted a release for awhile now.
b) Given how little he's done since he came back, for whatever reason, I wouldn't really miss him; he's more or less a jobber at this point, so they might as well just let him go back to Japan or ROH (if he's welcome). I enjoy the guy's work, but I think it was telling that he and Skipper were standing in the background of Daniels' promo a couple weeks ago.
Glazer made the parallel between what Ki did here and what Raven did during the beginning of the end in WCW in '99; we'll see if the morale level is comporable. I've never wanted to be the guy who compares TNA to WCW, but it's hard to avoid it sometimes.
Having now seen the promo via Glazer's youtube link, I'm not convinced it was a shoot; it was very good, mind you, but it reminded me a lot of Russo's speech at Bash at the Beach 2000, and I have a hard time believing they'd let him go on like that, especially after the "fire me, I don't care" bit. Not that my disbelief means it didn't actually happen, but I'm expecting this to lead to another of Russo's beloved shoot angles. Once again, we'll have to see.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Oh wait, there is one thing to get excited about besides putting Johnny Nitro through flaming tables!
Jericho's comeback is tonight, unless everyone on internet wrestling pundit is completely wrong. Or they want to fake the audience out because they've already figured it out. Or this is bullshit.
So, yeah, Jericho's coming back tonight, and not a moment too soon (several moments later than I would have liked, really, but it was nice that he got a chance to recharge his batteries, write a very interesting sounding book, and job on Celebrity Duets). That's something to get excited about, even if it says a lot about how moribund WWE has been lately that a guy who's been gone for two years return is the most exciting event oustide of Wrestlemania in recent memory. Being a pretty big Jericho fan (more of one since he hasn't been around to class up RAW; absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that), I prefer to not look at it that cynically, though; at least not for long.
This second coming has a pretty high standard to live up to, given how great his first debut was, but I'm (perhaps foolishly) hoping that given the time, build up, and the fact that it's Chris Fucking Jericho, it will give us our first really great RAW moment in a long time. And hey, this time his hair will look less ridiculous and he won't be verbally eviscerated by the Scorpion King, so he's got that going for him. Otherwise, RAW looks like business as usual, but for once it doesn't matter at all what's on the show; it could be a an hour and a half Khali/Big Daddy V Iron Man Match and I'd still be excited. I'd of course wait 'til RAW was over and fastforward through the shitty match, mind you, but still; excited! That's something I haven't been for an episode of RAW since I had to adjust my medication; taking chemical imbalances off the table, I can't even remember when the last time I was actually looking forward to an episode, as opposed to just watching it out of habit. Before I can think about the implications of that, I'll take my leave, lest I have to become a whiney ROH-bot. (Just kidding, new Inside Pulse colleague! But seriously, how does that Kool-Aid taste? If it's grape, I'll shut the fuck up and start marking out for Bryan Danielson.)
So, yeah, Jericho's coming back tonight, and not a moment too soon (several moments later than I would have liked, really, but it was nice that he got a chance to recharge his batteries, write a very interesting sounding book, and job on Celebrity Duets). That's something to get excited about, even if it says a lot about how moribund WWE has been lately that a guy who's been gone for two years return is the most exciting event oustide of Wrestlemania in recent memory. Being a pretty big Jericho fan (more of one since he hasn't been around to class up RAW; absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that), I prefer to not look at it that cynically, though; at least not for long.
This second coming has a pretty high standard to live up to, given how great his first debut was, but I'm (perhaps foolishly) hoping that given the time, build up, and the fact that it's Chris Fucking Jericho, it will give us our first really great RAW moment in a long time. And hey, this time his hair will look less ridiculous and he won't be verbally eviscerated by the Scorpion King, so he's got that going for him. Otherwise, RAW looks like business as usual, but for once it doesn't matter at all what's on the show; it could be a an hour and a half Khali/Big Daddy V Iron Man Match and I'd still be excited. I'd of course wait 'til RAW was over and fastforward through the shitty match, mind you, but still; excited! That's something I haven't been for an episode of RAW since I had to adjust my medication; taking chemical imbalances off the table, I can't even remember when the last time I was actually looking forward to an episode, as opposed to just watching it out of habit. Before I can think about the implications of that, I'll take my leave, lest I have to become a whiney ROH-bot. (Just kidding, new Inside Pulse colleague! But seriously, how does that Kool-Aid taste? If it's grape, I'll shut the fuck up and start marking out for Bryan Danielson.)
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