Random Wrestling Thoughts Hulabaloo

Been awhile since I've been on here. Which is weird, because a decent amount has happened in wrestling lately.

For one, I actually watched, and enjoyed, Bound for Glory, probably more than any of the other TNA PPVs I've ever seen. The fact that all the faces won (and I'm counting AJ and Tomko as faces) in their biggest show of the year was a nice touch; I don't think I've seen that in a big time wrestling show in years, especially one where Vince Russo was on the booking team. I was going to do a full recap on it, but, well, it's kind of late now, and besides, I deleted it from my Tivo already. So here's some quick thoughts on what little I remember of the show:

LAX vs. XXX was a solid opener, with Hernandez totally stealing the show from where I sat. Sure, Elix got his patented bat shit crazy high spot, Homicide did some cool stuff (including the Don West markout inducing mid rope tope con hilo, which hurts 'Cide's street cred, but you can't blam everyone's fourth favorite wrestling color commentator for going nuts for it), and Senshi alternated between kicking people and looking around like a tool, but Hernandez looked like an absolute stud here. Of course, it helped that he had two guys he outweighs by a hundred pounds or so bumping like madmen for him, but I was really impressed by what he brought to the table. More performances like that, and he'll look like someone worth pushing as a singles act instead of just the parsley to Homicide's main dish.

Frankie Kazarian did the flux capacitor, which was cool, but that was pretty much the only memorable moment of the Fight For Your Right Battle Royal. I still like the idea of guys fighting to get in the match, making me apparently the only person outside of Tampa to think so.

The Tag Match was solid, although I thought it was dumb that they waited until then to give them a stand in for Pacman. On top of that, it looks pretty bush league to toss some random indie guy whose only distinguishing feature is an Afro Thunder-esque 'fro. I was also surprised that Pacman would reference the incident that led to a riot in a strip club that paralyzed a guy (an ex-wrestler, no less) and helped get him kicked out of the NFL, but then again, he's a grown man who calls himself Pacman, so that explains a lot. I did love that Hebner ignored the fall to pick up the money. Some people may not like Tomko having a belt, but the guy's improved a lot in the ring (admitedly, he used to be my least favorite wrestler in the world, so his being able to do more besides play the world's tallest straight man impresses the hell out of me), so I say good for him. Besides, it's better than having a disgraced cornerback holding a belt, so hey, progress.

Daniels/Lethal was solid, but not much more than that. It was nice to see Lethal get the win; they really need to try and establish a new star in the X-Division, even if it's the black guy who thinks he's Randy Savage. I also loved the top rope Lethal Combo; that was pretty slick. That said, I wasn't particularly blown away by this one. It was perfectly good, but Daniels in particular has established a higher standard. It helped that he had Joe and AJ to work with when he did, though, and neither of them was impersonating an insane legend of wrestling.

The Women's/Knockout/Wrestlers with Boobs! gauntlet was solid, and I was really happy to see Gail Kim win the belt; I've always liked her, and it's nice to see her get a run at holding a belt now that she's got a little experience under her, um, belt. I really overused that word there. They did a good job making Amazing Kong look like a monster (complete with Christy Hemme's hilarious intro); although her facial experessions and hairstyle make her resemble Booker T (if he were a large black woman), she's seriously imposing, and should make a good opponent for Kim, especially if they want to build up their Women's Division as a place for solid wrestling instead of T&A. It will be interesting, for someone like myself who actually likes women's wrestling, to see how the booking of Kong dovetails with the suddenly less imposing Beth Phoenix, who is playing a similar character. Hopefully no one will take as sick a fall as Candice did this week in the process.

I was expecting the tables match to suck, but it was a decent brawl (despite some lame weapons shots from the Steiners), reminscent of ECW in the way that the current ECW will probably never be again. It would be nice for the Steiners to go out on a high note here, but I think I saw them in them in the spoilers for this week's Impact (haven't had a chance to watch it yet), so apparently they're sticking around. 3D's apparently embarking on a mission to destroy the X-Division; hopefully this will help put over a new star better than the whole "Kevin Nash vs. the X-Division" experiment did. I mean, at the very least the Motor City Machine Guns' beating cries out for a revenge match, doesn't it?

Joe vs. Christian was indeed the match of the night, like I expected. It was nice to see Joe finally get a big, clean win over one of TNA's current main eventers, and the heat throughout the match was unreal; it really shows that they need to get out of the Impact Zone more, as the crowd has cooled on Joe tremendously there, but were rabid for him in Atlanta. Christian played his part beautifully, and everything clicked. It was also nice to see them not do the "shocking turn" with Matt Morgan, although hooking him up with Christian eventually would probably be a good idea.

Monster's Ball was okay for what it was, a bloody, garbagey brawl. They had a solid mix of veteran hands in there, which made for a better match than it would have been had Mesias (where the hell did he go? Not that I miss him) been in there, although an appearence from Sabu would have been cool (his no compete clause may have held that up). It was nice to see Abyss pick up the win, as he'd been in all of them but never gone over. If you view a year in TNA as going from Genesis to BFG, then it punctuated things for the big guy well. The broken glass always strikes me as being absurdly over the top; the kind of thing Bret Hart was bitching about years ago, when the WWF first strated moving toward the hardcore style, is coming true when fucking thumb tacks are no longer painful enough. That said, it was a solid match, and I felt like the right guy went over, which was a pleasent theme of the night.

The main event was pretty entertaining, too, although it was extremely overbooked. That can work when executed well, though, and I thought they did that here. Although Sting going over isn't a big picture kind of thing, especially since he's apparently planning on retiring soon, it worked well in the moment, especially in his old stomping ground. They've already put the belt back on Angle, anyway, which actually seems a little wrong headed to me, as Christian vs. Sting is still a novel enough main event, and he and Joe could easily get a main event program going given that they have some bad blood in the past. All that aside, both guys busted their asses here, pulling out everything from blade jobs to botched 450 splashes (have to give Angle credit for trying, and at least he didn't land on his head) to make this work, and not even the Kevin Nash power walk in and Karen Angle's continued on screen presence hurt things too much. Although Nash is wrestling in the main event this month, so fuck all this good feeling stuff. I did enjoy BFG a lot, though.

On the WWE side of things, ECW's gone from its potential deathbed (at least on Cable TV) to getting renewed in the time it's taken me to post again. In the process, they've intiated a talent exchange between ECW and Smackdown, which if nothing else gives Smackdown someone to look down upon, which is nice. Given ECW's paper thin roster, they really should have done this before. In theory, this sets up the possibility of some cool challengers for CM Punk; I would love to see him work with Finlay or Rey Mysterio, for instance, and this at least dangles the possibility in front of us. In practice, it's given us the Of Mice and Men tag team continuing Nunzio's three year jobbing streak and a horrible four way on the next episode. Kane being moved over permanently is a bit of a wash; if nothing else, it's his best chance to get a real title reign, a la Big Show, and if nothing else, I think he and Kevin Thorn could have a fun feud. I've finally warmed up on Thorn, by the way, even if I miss Shelly Martinez as his valet. All it took was 90% of the old ECW roster being fired or leaving and a different combination of him fighting Tommy Dreamer and Stevie Richards to do it! Much like Chuck Palumbo, I've gone from being incredibly bored with him to seeing him as a solid midcard big man. Maybe it's the Viscera effect; by comparison, I'd rather see the vampire guy than the one with bouncing moobs every week. That applies to everyone in ECW, and most everyone in pro wrestling, really. I'd take him over Karen Angle as Kurt's bitchy wife, though.

Beyond the continued existence of one of them, I don't have much to say about the WWE's weekly shows. Friday's Mysterio/Finlay vs. MVP 2.0 match was a lot of fun, but that's the only real stand out in the ring, and Troy Hepple can tell you more about it than I can. The previous week's MVP/Rey encounter was also really good, so much so that I'd like to see them get a PPV main event some day (which isn't as far fetched as it might have been one day). Outside of that axis of guys, though, I'm not much impressed by what's going on in WWE programming lately; it's nice to have Shawn back, but there's only so much he can do with Orton, although I can live with some combination of those two, Kennedy, and Hardy main eventing. The latter two at least inject some relatively fresh blood in to things, and could combine for some interesting matches; I expect HBK vs. Kennedy at some point in the near future, and Orton surviving a ladder match against Hardy could help get some more heat on him.

Which leads us to the PPV on Sunday, which I have no intention of watching. It doesn't help that I'm broke and have a cold, but even if I wasn't, I wouldn't be moved to check this one out. The Smackdown matches all sound solid to good on paper, although I imagine we'll be getting some form of non-finish in the Batista/Undertaker match, with JBL doing something to fuck things up (his main event interview segment on Friday was hilarious, by the way), if for no other reason than that I can't imagine they'd do a title change or Batista finally getting a win over 'Taker at this show. Edge is supposed to be back next month, so they've go to keep the belt warm for him in any event.

MVP and Hardy will surely be entertaining; everything they've done outside of that stupid pizza eating contest at No Mercy has been, and I'm kind of hoping that MMA match wins, just to see what a worked WWE version would look like. That said, it won't be for the title, so I ain't paying to see it.

Finlay vs. Mysterio could be awesome, too, which their match at No Mercy was until they did the lame "heel fakes injury, and we treat it seriously until he pops up and attacks the face" bullshit that makes you question legitimate injuries like Candice's on Monday. The stipulations eleminate the possibility of that kind of lame ending; at six matches, the card is not so overbooked that they won't have time to put on something cool. This was the one matchup I was excited for at No Mercy; okay, fine, this one I would be up for if not for the lack of money and the being sick.

The Raw and ECW offerings are a mix of things that provoke apathy in me, though. The choices for Punk's challenger remind me of Richard Pryor's classic Brewster's Millions, and the campaign slogan his character had when he ran for office (which one, I can't remember, and damned if I'll look it up; it's almost three and I'm sick, cut me some fucking slack, theoretical demanding audience); "None of the above!" Would it have killed them to mix Burke, Thorn, or Dreamer in here instead of King Moobs or the other two guys that I can't even be bothered to make derisive nicknames for? Hopefully Punk retains, although they do like to have at least one title change at these things, to make the "interactive" element count, and Punk's the most likely suspect. I'd vote for the Miz just because I'm 99% sure they wouldn't put the title on him. We know they have some inexplicable hard on for Morrison, and given Vis's push and Kane coming to ECW, I wouldn't be shocked to see him getting the belt, either.

All this brings us to the main event, Orton's first with any real build. I'm pretty sure Shawn will carry the vote, although I wouldn't be shocked to see Hardy sneak in there, given his popularity. The only time Kennedy ever gets face heat is when he's not on screen, so that says it all for him. Orton against either face will be solid, and Orton vs. Shawn would the best match up, because it has an actual storyline and Shawn is fucking Shawn. That said, I remain extremely underwhelmed by Randy Orton, as I have been for three years; Foley nearly killing him elevated him to the main eventer status he has by default today, but it's also the zenith of his career thus far; everything else, including going over Benoit for the World Title, has been downhill. So, yeah, I'm not that enthused by him or this title reign he will surely have until Wrestlemania unless he pees on some nuns (and it's Orton, so even odds), which colors the whole card, since he'll probably be main eventing every show from now until HHH wants the title back. All of which is my way of saying I miss John Cena. That sound was you hearing any credibility I might have had in the Smart Mark community imploding. Might as well call it a day (or late night) after that.